By Stephanie Marshall, Toronto based Master Alignment Coach

“I just need to find the self-discipline…”

I’ve heard that phrase from so many women who are mad at themselves for not following through for themselves. Women who are mad at themselves for finishing the cookies, leaving the laundry unfolded, or for putting off the expense reports one more week.

But self-discipline isn’t something hiding away waiting to be found.

The people who excel at it didn’t just stumble across the magical cupboard of self-discipline and help themselves. Also, self-discipline can’t be manifested into existence by making the perfect plan or using the right app on your phone.

Self-discipline is more like a muscle. You have to build it little by little using it consistently. And at first, making a decision and following through won’t come naturally and it might be a little uncomfortable. But if you keep going you will get stronger and it will get easier.

How long does it take to build self-discipline?

There is no set amount of time or number of repetitions that can guarantee self-discipline. The habit of following through for yourself, even when you aren’t feeling motivated or in the mood can only be created through repetition.

The good news is that there are ways to make it easier to build the self-discipline muscle for any habit:

  1. Expect imperfection – change is never linear or constant.
  2. Start smaller than you are capable of.
  3. Imagine yourself as someone with the new habit to familiarize yourself with this version of yourself.

The last one might sound fluffy to some of you but 95% of people who create lasting behavioural change begin by viscerally connecting to an idealized version of themselves. #science

Building self-discipline is simple, but it requires you to commit to yourself and break out of your current auto-pilot settings. The Kickstartology Alignment Framework and the Align to Thrive program will help you stay committed and figure it out.

Once you know how to build self-discipline for yourself, you can simply decide what to focus on and take action, without wasting energy worrying about how to get yourself to stay motivated and follow through. Remember, it’s not about “being good“, because that’s actually quite boring, it’s about building the habits that align with how you want to live long term.

You will have more energy, more time, and better focus on the things that matter to you.


P.S. Curious about coaching? Join us for our next Reset Lab, it's our free live online intro program. Details and registration here.

P.P.S. Book a call to get all of your questions answered and find out if you're a good fit for the Kickstartology Align to Thrive online coaching program for women.

P.P.P.S. Our client, Hanna, says it best:
“Kickstartology Coaching offers a mix of brain tools, challenge, community, encouragement, and consistency. The openness of the Kickstartology team and of my fellow program participants has helped me envision my future, create a blueprint for the way I want to show up in the world, and start building the habits I want in my life."

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