Perfectionists and Perfectionism

Perfectionism is one of the top ten ways that women get in their own way.

You might not realize you’re a perfectionist because you think you don’t always do things perfectly or because your perfectionism applies to certain areas of your life rather than everything.

Simply put, perfectionists can easily obsess over the desire for things to be perfect at the expense of doing the things that would allow them to move things forward.

Here are some common perfectionist behaviours:

• You procrastinate starting things when the outcome isn’t clear
• All-or-nothing thinking
• Unrealistic goal setting
• You are more critical of yourself than others
• Fear of failure doesn’t let you enjoy yourself until you know for sure how things will turn out
• You respond defensively to constructive criticism (even if only in your head)

Perfectionists may find themselves overthinking seemingly minor tasks. For instance, consider a scenario where they are unexpectedly asked by their boss to send a quick status update on a project. Instead of quickly providing the necessary information, a perfectionist might spend an excessive amount of time scrutinizing every detail, seeking perfection in the update, and potentially delaying its submission.

Craving Control

Perfectionists are chasing a feeling of order and control and it’s frustrating because real life is messy.

This is an unpopular reality when life coaching for perfectionists.

Often the day-to-day things that have the potential to create the biggest positive impact in your life aren’t the things that make you feel in control.

The Perfectionism Tradeoff: Control vs. Possibility

Are you willing to sacrifice a big full life just to feel in control sometimes?

If you want the big full life you’re going to want to take down the perfectionism a notch. Three steps to help you move away from perfectionism:

1. Decide: What matters most, progress or perfection?
Check-in frequently with your priorities. For example, does the email need to be perfect or can it just be fine?

2. Focus on what you can control.
For example, you can’t control how someone will feel and the assumptions that they will make when they receive an email.

3. Build the habit of celebrating tiny wins every day.
Don’t limit yourself by only focusing on the overall outcomes.

I have experience coaching perfectionists.

If you have the habit of trying to make things perfect for the illusion of order and control and need some help breaking free, I can help.

– SJM