Lack of Willpower
Have you ever blamed something on a lack of willpower?
The willpower problem is rarely that you don’t have it, it’s more likely the problem is that you have too much of it.
People think they need the willpower to do the things that they don’t want to do, to get the results they want. It’s commonly believed that the more you dread it, or the harder you think it will be, the stronger the willpower you will need to force yourself to do it.
For example, you need the willpower to exercise to get the result of building muscle, and the more you dread exercise, the more willpower you need.
But this approach places an over-emphasis on the “power” side of willpower, instead of the “will” part of willpower, which is the source of the power. Consider this:
If you are dreading something, your WILL (which means desire) is to get out of doing it.
The more willpower you have, the better you will be at coming up with loopholes and excuses to talk yourself out of it.
The most effective way to get yourself to follow through is to ensure that your WILL is focused on the results and what you are willing to do to get the results. Just wanting the results to magically appear without effort is simply wishing and has nothing to do with willpower.
For example: Build the will (desire) for the muscles and the willingness to exercise to create those results.
The way to do this is to intentionally nurture and grow your will not only for the results, but also for going through the work to get them. Growing your will requires an ongoing commitment to intentional thought, a mindset practice that forms the basis of a well-managed mind. As you grow your will you will get better at catching yourself negotiating or flaking out and redirecting your thoughts to more useful ones.
You must grow your will for the results to be stronger than the dread of making the effort. Once this happens you will be unstoppable.
You’ve got this.
-Stephanie
P.S. If you want some help figuring out the next part, book a free coaching exploration call. We’ll talk about what’s going on and whether group coaching or 1-on-1 coaching fits. No pressure. Just clarity.
Not ready to talk?
Start with my FREE mini starter course:
KICKSTART: THE FIRST STEP
Make the decision that changes everything else.
Clarity, commitment, and forward motion. Ten minutes a day. Starting now.
How to Stop Being Hard on Yourself – ADHD
Don’t have time? The brief: If you have ADHD, being hard on yourself can feel necessary, but it's just a pattern your brain has practiced for years. Self-compassion doesn't mean giving up. It means being honest enough to stop making things harder. Catching it, zooming...
I’m Feeling Untethered, and So Are a Lot of Smart Women I Know
Don’t have time? The brief: Safe mode can become a long-term habit that looks functional but quietly disconnects you from yourself. Drifting often happens gradually, through familiar routines that seem harmless until they flatten everything. Reconnection starts when...
The Six Types of Procrastination That Trick Smart People Every Day
Don’t have time? The brief: You’re not putting things off because you’re lazy or disorganized. You’re regulating discomfort. There are six distinct types of procrastination. Each one offers short-term relief that creates long-term mess. You don’t need better habits....
