By Toronto Life & Mindset Alignment Coach Stephanie J. Marshall

Why Don’t I Do the Things I Know Are Good for Me?

You already know what would help. You’ve told yourself a dozen times you’ll start. And yet here you are, circling the same decision, trying to figure out why you don’t do the things you know are good for you, even though the logic is solid and the outcome matters.

It’s not because you’re lazy. And it’s not because you need another motivational quote. The problem isn’t effort. It’s avoidance disguised as logic.

People often ask, “Why don’t I do the things I know are good for me?” but rarely do they stop to figure out the answer. Instead, they default to telling themselves they’ll try harder. If you’ve been here for any length of time, you already know that never works. Trying harder keeps you in motion but blind to the real problem. It maintains effort without insight, which is how people stay stuck.

The thing that blocks action, even when the benefits are obvious, is what I call the human ridiculous factor. It’s the part of your brain that resists what you already know is in your best interest. Once you understand how yours works, you stop using it against yourself. You also lose your tolerance for pretending you don’t know what’s going on.

How to Find Your Human Ridiculous Factor (and Why You Don’t Do the Things You Know Are Good for You)

You’ll be tempted to skim the next part. Most people do. But if you want to see how your own resistance works in real time, this is where it shows up. Not in the answer. In the part of you that wants to avoid answering.

Start by identifying something specific. Choose something you could do that would have a clear, positive impact on your life. This could be related to your health, your career, your relationships, or your sense of autonomy. Maybe it’s working out regularly, applying for a job, joining a dating app, or finally getting a dog. Think of the thing you keep postponing until “the right time” while continuing to assure yourself that you’ll get around to it.

Now answer these four questions. Don’t overthink them. Just answer.

1. On a scale of 1 to 10 (you can’t say 7), how much of a positive long-term impact would this have on your life?
If it’s below an 8, pick something that matters more.

2. Is it theoretically possible for you to make this change? Yes or no.
If the answer is yes, move on. If not, pick something that is actually possible.

3. Do you have the basic skills and knowledge to do it, or to figure it out? Yes or no.
If yes, continue. If no, go get what you need before expecting change.

4. On a scale of 1 to 10 (still no 7), do you believe you will actually do it?
If your number is 8 or higher, go. If it’s lower, this is the moment your human ridiculous factor shows up.

The Lurking Insight

If you answered yes to everything, and you know this thing would improve your life, then the real question is why you still don’t do the thing you know is good for you. That’s not rhetorical. You need to look at the specific thoughts your brain offers. What are the actual reasons behind the hesitation?

Maybe it’s fear of failing. Maybe it’s the amount of effort it will take. Maybe you’re resistant to the uncertainty or the discomfort of figuring it out. Whatever the story is, it usually comes down to avoiding a temporary negative feeling. In doing that, you trade short-term comfort for long-term progress. That’s the definition of self-sabotage.

You Can’t Fake Compelling

Your brain will only allow you to follow through on something hard if it finds the outcome more compelling than the resistance. But here’s the problem: most people hate admitting they don’t want to do something they know would be good for them. So instead, they tell themselves it’s complicated. They create stories that feel responsible but keep them stalled.

This is the part where we become ridiculous. We know better, but we still buy into our own excuses. And because the resistance sounds logical, we don’t question it.

The only way out is to get real about one thing.

Why isn’t this compelling enough?

You can’t fake that kind of clarity. You can’t force it either. If you get to question four and realize you don’t believe you’ll follow through, that’s not a motivational issue. It’s a truth issue. Something about the outcome doesn’t matter enough to override your current default. That’s the thing to look at. Not the action. The meaning behind it.

What If You Don’t Do the Things You Know Are Good for You Because of How You See Yourself?

Your self-image isn’t the truth. It’s just a set of opinions you happen to hold about yourself. Some of them might be useful. Some might be wildly inaccurate. But either way, they’re not facts.

Still unsure? Go back to your answers from the diagnostic above. Can you say with confidence that all of them are objectively true? That anyone else looking at the same situation would agree? Probably not.

Self-Image vs. “The Truth”

A lot of people underestimate their potential because they’ve built their self-image around outdated information. If you’ve ever watched someone you care about hold themselves back because of a distorted view of who they are, you already know how wrong people can be about themselves.

It doesn’t actually matter if your self-image is accurate. What matters is whether it’s useful. Is it helping you take risks that could lead to something better? Or is it quietly convincing you that those risks aren’t worth trying? Are you assuming you already know what other people think of you and then spending hours reacting to it?

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re holding yourself back from something potentially great because of some warped internal narrative, that’s where it gets interesting. And that’s where it becomes actionable.

Self-Image Coaching

Through the Alignment Framework, you’ll uncover the blind spots shaping your current self-image. You’ll learn what’s working for you and how to shift what’s not, without pretending, posturing, or lying to yourself. That part’s important. Because denial doesn’t stick. But real clarity does.

When your self-image shifts, so does your decision-making. The changes ricochet through everything else: what you try, what you tolerate, what you trust yourself with. And that’s how you break patterns. Not by trying harder. By seeing yourself clearly and acting from there.

The Shortcut Is Telling the Truth

Being honest with yourself gives you access to what matters most. Once that’s clear, you stop focusing on discipline and start building real momentum. You identify the actual obstacles instead of reacting to symptoms. You stop stalling. You stop spinning. You move.

This is what the coaching relationship is for. It gives you the structure and support to apply this work to your own life. It helps you see the unconscious habits that either block you or drive you forward. You don’t need more pressure. You need clarity that sticks.

Book a free coaching exploration call
We’ll identify the shift you’ve been circling and help you figure out how to move without pushing or pretending.