Life Coaching: Who is it for?
Some people think that Life Coaching is for people whose lives are a total mess while others think that it’s for those who already know what they want and actually follow through.
I used to think that Life Coaching wasn’t for me.
When the people around me began getting life coaches (or mindset coaches, career coaching, etc), I was comparing myself to them.
I would have told you that I already knew exactly what I needed to do to improve my life, and I just needed to do it. I believed that for me, just finding willpower and self-disciple would go beyond anything that a coach could do for me.
On the flip side, I also assumed that the people who were thriving with coaches were the people who already had their shit together with consistent self-discipline and willpower, while. I was prone to the roller-coaster of high productivity and then crashing.
My assumptions from afar were wrong on multiple counts. I wasn’t able to see what was going on with me at the root of the lack of self-discipline and the productivity roller-coasters, and I was underestimating the purpose of life coaching.
The simplest explanation is this: Life coaching is for people who want clarity and help with changing something about themselves or with the results they are creating.
If you’re someone who says “I know what I need to do, I just need to do it” but you haven’t actually been doing it… this includes you.
“I Already Know What I Need to Do”
I thought a life coaching for women program was a waste of time (and money). I told myself “I just needed to”:
- Figure out exactly what I want
- Prioritize better
- Get really organized
- Be consistent
- Stop procrastinating
- Change my bad habits
- Stop people pleasing
- Stay motivated
Basically, I just needed to be perfect and in control, and I would plan on starting next week.
I was setting myself up for inevitable failure with the complete lack of specificity and the emphasis on control and perfection.
I wasn’t clear on what I wanted beyond the vague idea of being better. A life coach will help you get more specific with what you want both long-term and short-term. Even when there is uncertainty you need to set the direction if you want to get new data and build momentum.
Planning Vs. Doing
Planning on doing something and doing it are two completely different things.
When people don’t follow through they often think that they just need to try harder, have more willpower, or find the right tactic or tool.
It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of trying harder and trying to try harder, and if you get caught in this, chances are you won’t even realize it. The fact is, human brains are engineered to be better at planning than at execution.
If you want to get better at DOING, you don’t focus on better planning or waste energy judging yourself, you need to get really clear on why you aren’t doing it. You need to go deeper than just “I wasn’t motivated” or “I didn’t have time”. To answer these questions we need to look at the context of what you want to do, why you want to do it, and what do you believe about yourself doing it.
Life Coach Touch Points
The following are the three overarching areas that a life coach works with you on. This applies to the big things and the little things in equal measure:
- A life coach helps you get out of your head, and set direction, and intention. This will be based on how you want to live your life and who you want to be.
- A life coach trains you to consistently better question your own assumptions, including those about yourself.
- Life coaching enables you to better understand and manipulate your own personal operating system in order to strengthen the alignment between what you want, and what you habitually do.
Of course, there are different methods, tools, and models. In Kickstrtology we focus on neuroscience research for mindset coaching and our Alignment Framework in our online group coaching for women. But without getting into the weeds, it’s these three things that consistently create big results to make people’s lives better (often better in unexpected ways as well as sought-after successes).
My clients are getting more of the results they are seeking by doing things differently, and without exhausting themselves by trying harder or doing more.
*Disclaimer of course not everyone needs a coach, wants a coach or works well with a coach. I had successes on many fronts before I had a coach.
**Some of my best friends don’t have coaches
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