By Nadine Araksi Silverthorne, Toronto-based Storytelling Coach
Blame vs. taking 100 percent responsibility
What does it mean to take 100 percent responsibility for your results?
A few weeks ago, I caught myself complaining about work. I didn’t like the way someone reacted in a meeting, which led to me reacting negatively in return. I called Stephanie, indignant, and started ranting criticisms at the individual, deeply satisfied as I dug deeper into what I thought made me right and the other person wrong. (Why is blaming the other guy so much fun in the moment?!)
“I’m going to stop you right there,” she said in her tough-love coach voice, “You sound like the victim here. I’m curious, how would you be talking about this if you were taking 100% responsibility for your results?” Whoaaaaaaa! #MindBlown
Holy crap! I was giving this other person all the power. In that moment, I started to see that while his approach of directing it at me was bothersome, his frustration was not about me. I quickly was able to “flip the pancake” on his issue, see what the real problem might be, and creatively brainstorm a solution. I felt in control, inspired and activated.
Victim mentality vs. taking 100 percent responsibility
Where in life are you not taking 100 percent responsibility for your results? Blame and victimhood can usually lead us there. Are you:
- Blaming weather or energy levels for your unhealthy lifestyle?
- Using the pandemic as an excuse for “no one to date” or “no jobs out there”?
- Putting all your career or money failures on something someone did to you in the past?
- Would everything be just perfect if only the other person would do things the way you want?
You’re not alone. For many of us, accepting that we are the makers of our misery is tough to realize and admit. Often a lack of boundaries, or a less than helpful habit might be at the root. Pay attention to your complaints this week. Jot them down when you catch them. Does the problem lie with someone else? What happens if you take 100 percent responsibility for how things in your life are going?
(Tidying, painting and decorating my home office nook, so that I feel more professional and show up as I want to be seen, is an example of how easy and fun it can be to take 100 percent responsibility for your results.)
Tired of feeling like the victim?
If you are tired of feeling like a victim and want to step into your power, we’ve got you! We have developed a world-class, 12-week program that helps identify the thought traps that keep you from getting the life you want. From buying that dream home to hitting fitness goals, getting fabulous new jobs and starting businesses, our clients are seeing big wins, even in a pandemic!
If you’re ready to take 100% responsibility for your results, if you’re ready to do the work it takes to make meaningful changes in your life, book your free exploration call now to have expert global life coach, Stephanie J. Marshall, show you how the Alignment Framework could help you bridge the gap between your life today and the life of the person you’re becoming.
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