She thought she just needed to try harder
When Mel came to us, she was struggling to get a promotion. Her leadership team didn’t see her as a tech leader, and she felt stuck. Always a hard worker, she believed that if she just worked harder and got more education and certifications, her star would rise until retirement. The end.
“I felt like I was doing everything correctly,” said Melonie at our Reset Lab last month. “I felt like I was doing the approved expected steps. Like, you go to school, and you go to class, take your exam, pass, and move up. And I took that same narrative into my career. I couldn’t figure it out because bosses loved me, I was productive and reliable, and I had the biggest portfolio… yet I kept getting passed over for leadership positions or promotions whenever I went for that job. And unfortunately, for the longest time, whenever that happened, I just took that internally, and I was like, ‘Well, I’m not good enough.'”
By learning the Alignment Framework and the Kickstartology Coaching tools, Mel was able to stop waiting for validation from her bosses in the form of a higher position and began to create her own image as a leader. Initially scared to speak in front of an audience, she spoke at over 20 conferences in 2020. Supported by other BIPOC women in her organization and outside, she launched a Women in Tech program at her company, despite being told multiple times that it wasn’t needed. And eventually, she wrote her way out of a job that didn’t value her and built the fun, fulfilling life she lives today. We caught up with Mel recently to get the scoop on her Kickstartology experience.
What was your big a-ha moment, the point at which Kickstartology felt aligned with what you were hoping for?
Before Kickstartology, I was preoccupied with everything I was “supposed” to be doing. All those adult milestones were driving my narrative. My blinders were so zoned into them that I felt anything that deviated from those milestones was irresponsible.
When I started doing Kickstartology’s self-image manifesto, I started permitting myself to discover how I actually wanted to live my life; I learned that you won’t know what will make you happy until you sit down and think about it. Using this technique, I’m having fun creating the life I’m living now.
How has your self-image changed?
I give fewer fucks. I don’t worry about what other people think about me, which changed my previous self-image of waiting for people to see me as <insert desired trait here> before I allowed myself to do the same. I thought I needed outside validation first.
Why should someone go through Kickstartology Coaching?
Do you have the feeling that there is more out there for you? Do you ever admire someone else’s life and think that they are the exception to the rule and that it isn’t realistic for you to have the same thing? Do you want to change?
What would you tell someone wondering whether Kickstartology is right for them?
There is more for you out there, and if you’re curious about your life, it’s worth looking into it.
The mindset that things can change and that you can control your life is powerful. Trusting the process and doing the work is just the tip of the iceberg — this is a journey into an identity shift.
I’ve continued to use the tools I learned during Kickstartology so much that it’s ingrained in my subconscious. I view the world differently and deal with difficult situations using “The Model.” (A coaching tool we use in the program.)
What was the value of being in a group?
Being surrounded by a group of women who are on the same journey amplifies the experience. You know that you’re not alone.
What is the most significant realization you had as the result of Kickstartology?
My most significant realization was that I can change a lot in a year. I’m so excited for my own future.
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