By Stephanie Marshall, Toronto based Master Alignment Coach
People Remember Drama
Online dating has a bad PR problem. Their marketing isn’t helping because in their advertising they try so hard to have the people look like “diverse normal people” that it just winds up looking like they live in a Hallmark Card universe. And that universe doesn’t have ghosting or dick pics.
People who have been through the online dating thing have described it as:
- A waste of time
- For losers
- Not normal
- Soul crushing
- Harder than real life
But here’s the thing: Every single one of those things on the list above was said by someone who has found someone great through online dating.
It makes sense though, not because online dating is hell, but because people remember dramatic things. Drifting into a healthy relationship is not as dramatic as some of the situations that can arise with people who are not a good fit. And no one is talking about the mundane or even lackluster but mildly pleasant experiences they’ve had with online dating. It’s boring.
So it’s so easy to only associate online dating with memorable dramatic garbage, but in actual fact, there is much more boring stuff happening than there is drama.
That being said, how can you approach online dating with certainty that it won’t be a waste of time or destroy your soul? How can you get through the boring parts and stay out of the bullshit that will send you on a pointless emotional roller coaster? It starts by being 100% accountable to yourself. You need to be honest not only about what you want, but what you are giving. Are you waiting for someone to impress you before you take a risk and show up as your best? Managing your mind, including being aware of your thoughts and assumptions (yes, learning to master your mindset) will help you find joy in the process, as well as grow your resilience when things don’t go according to plan.
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