By Nadine Araksi, Toronto-based Story Coach

“But what if I don’t know what I want?”

“I know what I have to do; I just need to DO IT.”

How many times have you said the above? If you want to lose 10 lbs or be fitter, you already know what to do. Do you want to declutter your house? You can watch some Marie Kondo on Netflix to get inspired and then do it. If your wish is to find a new job or a new partner, I’m pretty sure you know how to go about that. If you don’t, the internet is FULL of ideas on the HOW. Overly focusing on the HOW is the #1 procrastination tactic I see in our program and also catch in myself.

So if you know what you have to do, why aren’t you doing the thing?

You’re likely not being honest with yourself about WHAT you want and WHY—which are essential to helping you find focus, commitment and to prioritize your time for what matters. It’s also the toughest thing for many women. Ask yourself if you see connecting with your desires and speaking them out loud as frivolous, indulgent or a form of entitlement. Women just DO. When you’re subconsciously conditioned to accept “you get what you get and you don’t get upset,” how do you override that and start to make space to think about what you might actually want out of life, a career path or a partner?

Kickstartology Law of Alignment #10: Collect Data, Not Judgements

At Kickstartology, we give you the tools to start listening to your inner knowing. If you can spend 10-15 minutes on your daily Wordle puzzle, you can spend 10-15 minutes a day changing your life. With tendencies towards people-pleasing and perfectionism, many women see much in life as a pass/fail test. But what if you could learn to see every experience and decision as a data point that gets you closer to knowing what you want?

Every interview, interaction and swipe on a dating app could be another puzzle piece. (We love puzzles!) Figuring out the WHAT is kind of like starting to form a jigsaw by finding all the edges first. But with life, the box doesn’t come with an image on it to copy. You need to get clearer on that picture for your best life, one-piece, one data point at a time.

How Kickstartology Coaching can help

The Kickstartology Alignment Framework was designed to teach women to focus more on what they want than what they are trying to escape (Alignment Law #1!). We have a beautiful jumping-in point coming up and we’d love to chat with you to understand your puzzle and help you solve it. Book an exploration call with Steph or Nadine to find out more.

And if finding a relationship is the puzzle you want to solve at the moment, we’ve got a fantastic workshop coming up. We invite you (and/or your single friends) to join us at Online Dating That Doesn’t Suck: our free online dating live workshop, June 1st at 7 PM EDT. 

We’ll cover the simple way to approach online dating using the Alignment Framework. Online dating apps can serve as simple tools at your disposal that will help you get the results you want. We will show you how to take advantage of their convenience while not letting the bullshit drag you down!

In this two-hour live lesson, you’ll learn how to:

  • Gain clarity around what’s possible and what you really want
  • Focus on the results and not the experience of the apps
  • Attract the right people
  • Keep the apps and the prospects from taking over your life
  • Prevent obsessing and spinning when you don’t know what’s going on
  • Identify your red flags
  • Know whether your deal breakers are too rigid

Best of all, you’ll learn to approach online dating lightheartedly, no matter how serious your intentions. Let us show you how to make the process fun!

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